how do you think society (as a whole) views non-monogamous relationships?

To be really honest, I think most of society sees it as cheating. It’s not though, but I do think a lot of people will see it as that… and as a phase you’re in because you don’t want to get attached to one person at that time.

As a slutty, sort of, decision that people make [laughs]. Like, not well! Just because in my own personal experience, that’s the only thing I can draw from, and if I hadn’t had the confidence to state that that’s what I want, then obviously I’m dealing in a world that’s not accepting of it. California is one of the more, like, liberal, we’re like free out here! [laughs] I think that Californians are more open minded because of the way that… I don’t know, it’s just kind of how it ended up being. It’s very politically charged to say that Californians are more open minded because there’s just more liberals here, but I don’t know how else to describe it. Most conservatives are Republicans now, and they used to be more liberal because they were about independence [from the government] but now it’s like, the people who have fallen onto that side support very old traditional values such as marriage to one partner, raising a family with one person. All those kinds of things that would make people not accept polyamory - not to mention LGBTQ+ rights.

I believe that sexual culture is becoming more open minded and accepting of new ideas and practices by the day. I do feel that there is still some stigma attached because of the connotations of bigamy, for example, and the questionable moral which come with it, but once one realises that as an active choice where all parties are considered and respected equally, this stigma really only translates as curiosity which people are afraid to act on, not malign perceptions.

I find that my immediate society, the ones who know about my relationship, are all very accepting at face value, but a fair few seem to think of it as lesser, or not really valid, in comparison to their monogamous relationships.

I think most of society is extremely judgmental toward it, assumes I have a hierarchy or must love one partner more than another. Also, I’ve seen a lot of judgment for parenting while polyamorous.

I think similar to many alternative lifestyle choices, people view non-monogamy in many different ways. Most people I have encountered see it as a thing other people do that has no bearing on them. Some think it utterly immoral and see no difference between it and cheating. Others, like me, learn about it and, in the words of Tikva Wolf (a pretty great author who writes about polyamory), feel they've found their "long lost tribe".

Typically negatively. It is often seen as a less deep form of having relationships. The common thought is that non-monogamous relationships would be more prone to drama or problems. But this all depends on the communication between the involved people.

I don’t really spend too much time thinking what society thinks of non-monogamy on a whole, I think some people’s attitudes toward it are somewhat negative, but I tend to surround myself with people that are accepting of our situation. I definitely feel a stigma about it, so I am careful who I tell, but I have never had any bad experience with people. Usually if someone does know and doesn’t understand, they will just ask me questions and there’s more intrigue than anything else. I was out with my partner and her girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. We don’t go around telling people but we were in a new group of friends. At the start of the night me and my partner where holding hands, at the end of the night she was being more affectionate with her girlfriend - so people knew what was going on. One guy came up to me and asked me what it’s like and why we open ourselves up like that. So we sat and chatted about our relationship. I didn’t feel uncomfortable and he was very respectful while telling me why he didn’t think it would work for me.

I think it doesn’t know what it’s talking about, because most people haven’t tried it. I guess my view of it as a part of society before I had any experience of it was that it was just really fucking cool, if a bit risky. The teenage boy inside of me is still impressed. I think society as a whole just doesn’t really understand it. Every relationship is going to be unique and no one’s figured out love as a complete concept anyway. We can only want what we know, and if you don’t know, I guess you’re not gonna want [to pursue non-monogamy]. Every life experience is a chance to narrow down what you’re comfortable with and what you want in your life. For some people non-monogamy just makes sense. But people can only view it through the zeitgeist of their time and place so they’ll never try it.

I get the sense that most people still view it the same way they did during free love in the 70s, as just hippy dippy Manson children types running around not controlling their libidos. People really latch on to the idea of commitment to another person, and there’s this really intense fear when it comes to ‘cheating’ and attraction to others in relationships. I think most people have a really hard time letting go of that sense of control in their relationships. I don’t blame them, polyamory probably isn’t for them, but I do think it effects how they perceive others who don’t feel that way.

It's not the standard. So people who are fixated on upholding the status quo often don't like it.

It's still a taboo, and I think people view it as a way to "fix" broken relationships or an excuse to cheat.

I think they feel like it’s weird, or like, not normal. I think most don’t really accept it, or something. I think it’s just from back to the roots, like most countries are Christian and in Christianity you aren’t allowed to have multiple, you know? So I think that’s where most people have their views from. That’s the western culture.

It’s hard to say… I thought more people knew about it because my social circle are all pretty liberal/lefty, but when I started working full time after university, I was introduced to a whole other group of people and many of them had never heard of it. I feel within the media, only one form of non-monogamy is present, and that’s one male and multiple women living together, or one man and two women. (Tiger King, Louis Theroux documentary, etcetera) and I don’t feel represented. I think it puts people off - especially with how much monogamy is pushed as if it’s the only viable option. I think you’ve got to slowly open people up into unlearning monogamy first but because they see something super different it scares them.

Unfortunately, society isn’t all about non-monogamous relationships. Even when you try to explain the circumstance, they cant wrap their heads around the fact that it’s not cheating. I’ve referred to it as ‘consensual cheating’ in the past but absolutely detest that labelling. I’ve told my parents about it but they don’t understand, but coming from a failed marriage they don’t know much about communication I guess. Recently I’ve stopped trying to make sense to other people. They don’t matter.

I guess that depends on which exact community we are referring to as society, but as a general answer I feel like people either reject it or think of it as a deviation. But I believe that this opinion comes from the fact that non monogamy is often presented as something toxic and dangerous.

I think times are changing but we still share this time with older generations and traditions that have been here for centuries. Right now the issue might be the same as for when someone is bisexual or transgender. And people who don't really know anything about it, think that they do. Which then creates this stigma over it, deprecating this new way of living, loving, expressing, etc. Just like when people hate what they don't know or what they're afraid of.

I don't think many people accept it yet or are conscious about it. Mainly because there isn't much conversation about it and one often declines what is unknown. To be honest, my initial reaction was somewhat the same, but I don't want to judge, because really, I too don't know much about it. It isn't my place to criticize what I'm unfamiliar with. On the flip side, society is, with each passing year, more open, more accepting towards many things.

I think there is a whole lot of taboo around this, people find it weird and "not normal" a lot of people just don't understand it or aren't open for learning to understand it and i think that's kinda sad, because being non-monogamous can be a very beautiful thing, to share so much love and feel so loved, seems great in my opinion